Truth By Bella Is Back In Action & Running With New, Interesting Topics!
1st Topic for Today's Post: Dating!
Ever think sometimes you were born in the wrong generation. Wanted to ever experience the old fashioned way of dating such as going out to drive in movie theaters. Sharing milkshakes with your significant other. Laughing at things you both find funny rather interesting.
I must say that rules of dating has truly changed. Especially in 2015, dating is so different. We are bombarded with texts, selfies, emojis, and more every single day to the point where we no longer fall in love while holding hands during a walk through the countryside under starlit skies or in the flash of city lights, but instead scrolling through Instagram for MCMs & WCWs or at our computer screens at 3 a.m. We search for something that can't actually be found.
It’s sad how some people look to social media as inspiration for relationships. Wanting relationships like Beyonce & Jay Z or even Kanye West & Kim Kardashian. Individuals treat social media sometimes as their guide to achieve aspiring “relationship goals” instead trying to accomplish real “life goals”.
Don’t get me wrong, not everyone from today’s generation is like what I stated above. There are others out there who are managing their goals along with their relationship with a significant other. Focused on career goals and their spiritual life. A big up to you, if that’s what you are doing.
Trust me, aspiring your relationship similarly to what you see on social media will not benefit you. You never know what every couple is going through behind closed doors. Of course, everyone is going to smile in public and put on a front. Think about are things actually what they seem?
To make this post captivating, the addition of a few GIFs should help show some typical situations. I conducted a survey on dating with 32 different people. It’s always best to add in evidence to support a point being made.
First question to my survey was “What’s your current relationship status?”
- Single & Not Looking
- Happily Taken
- Just Chilling & Doing Me
- Dating More Than One Person
18 out of 32 respondents (56%) selected their current relationship status as “Just Chilling” and doing them. 12 out of 32 (38%) considered themselves as “Happily Taken”.
It’s likely for those who would consider themselves as “Just Chilling & Doing Me” to fall into the hookup epidemic. I’m not a relationship expert; I’m just a well rounded female blogger. Furthermore, let me explain & show what I’ve notice about dating in 2015. So bare with me & take notes on what aspects I touch on along with advice given.
People have so many dating rules, it’s hard to keep track. I'm sure we have all broken at least some of those rules, or have been granted the well-known "exception" to someone else's. One of the most common rules of dating is not sleeping together on the first date; some can’t even fathom kissing on the first date (which seems a little rigid if you ask me).
On how many dates should a first kiss & holding hands occur? 13 out of 32 respondents answered on the 2nd date. 8 out of 32 stated it should happen on the 3rd date. If you think that timing doesn’t matter, think again my friend.
For me, "the right time" has always differed, but in general, if there is a true connection you will both feel the magic. In fact, I think an innocent kiss at least on the second date is totally harmless. It could be a make or break for some potential relationships. For this generation, first date kisses usually happen in the middle of the date. It certainly does not hold true for every pair.
Another interesting fact about today's dating that I've noticed is that some people find their dating partners on social media or should I say a “dating app”. Individuals may not admit to their curiosity on the app Tinder or OKCupid. It is okay if you have been on there for a quick second. Weirdly usual for this generation. I hope you’re aware what Tinder actually for (it’s a hook up app). Had to let those who didn’t know what it is. Do not think that going on Tinder or OKCupid will help you find the love of your life. Shame to those who tried to use LinkedIn as a dating site.
Instead of dating others to get over the feelings of loneliness & desperation, how about you date yourself over and over again until fall in love with who you are so much that those feelings lose its power over you. Becoming whole should be your priority and not just settling for anything/anyone. When you're ready to start dating, make sure you know what you want you're looking for. Take the old fashioned route, go out to socialize & meet new people in person. Who knows whom you might meet?
Dating has become extremely causal. When I say “causal”, I’m referring to in the sense of clothing and locations. Ladies and gentlemen, if you find yourself wearing a rusty T-shirt with jeans or sweatpants for your dates; you’re doing it all wrong!
I know that wearing jeans and sweatpants are comfortable. Gentlemen, it does not hurt wearing a nice button up with some chinos. Put on some cologne and wear a watch to become Mr. Nice Watch (J Cole reference). Ladies, it shouldn’t hurt to put on some nice shoes or pumps with a dress or blouse along with pants/skirt. Make your date outfit something to remember.
Moving onto locations, don't take your date out for fast food – he or she is a human being, not a garbage landfill.
If that’s what you could afford at the moment, you will better off going to a café to grab drinks. Sit down and get to know each other. Don't plan a date at fancy restaurant if you do not want your date to get used to & always expect that in the future. However, going to a fancy restaurant with your significant other once a blue moon will not hurt.
A first date should allow partners to chat and get to know one another. Don’t make it an interview, hold a conversation.
Attention: Netflix & Chilling is not a date; just a code for “Let’s Get It On” if you know what I mean. These GIFs below should help make things clear
Most of my survey respondents expressed their most common date is doing something new and fun. That’s great to hear! If you’re tired of going out to restaurants, doing something enjoyable such as bowling, going to a theme park, work out together, or go salsa/ballroom dancing (regards if you could dance or not). It's all about making & keeping a long lasting, meaningful connection. Your dates should be exciting to look forward to.
In 2015, how likely is for you to go on a date like I stated above? Tomorrow, I will move into what it is truly to happen in today's dating scenery. Excited to present the "Modern Rules Of Dating".
Thank you for your time,
Truth By Bella (Isabella B.)