The Ugly Truth

Welcome Back Viewers, 

If you haven’t caught up with Dating in 2015 (Pt. 1), you should do that now before continuing this post. This post will still be here once you’re done.

Yesterday, I noted that I would move into discussing about The Ugly Truths of Dating for today. I did a bit of research for the rules. I’m thankful that I found articles that had guys’ perspective on the rules. It is always best to know what the other sex thinks about this. Truth be told, if I only did my perspective, guys would feel that the blog post is bias. 

The modern rules of dating are not real. There are no rules. It's like Whose Line is it Anyway?: Everything is made up and the points don't matter.  There are ugly truths about modern dating that you may deal with. I’m going to name 8 of them for you.

1.     The person who cares less has all the power. Nobody wants to be the one who’s more interested.

2.    A person being carefree because they have zero interest in you looks exactly like a person being carefree because they think you’re amazing & are making a conscious effort to play it cool. Good luck deciphering between the two.

3.     Chances are, most of your relationship’s communication will happen via text, which is the most detached, impersonal form of interaction. Get familiar with those emoticon options.

4.     The only difference between your actions being romantic and creepy is how attractive the other person finds you. That’s it, that’s all.

5.     “Let’s chill” & “Wanna hang out?” are unclear phrases that likely mean “let’s hookup” — and while you probably hate receiving them, they’re the common way to invite someone to spend time these days, and appear to be here to stay.

6.     The text message you sent went through. If they didn’t respond, it wasn’t because of malfunctioning phone carrier services.

7.     So many people are scared of commitment and being official that they’ll remain in a label-free relationship, which blurs lines and only works until it doesn’t. One partner is bonded to want a committed relationship.

8.     When dating, instead of expressing how they feel directly to you, a person is more likely to post a Facebook status or Instagram a photo of a sunset with a quote or song lyric of someone else’s words on it, and while it may not mention your name, it’s obviously directed at you.

If you have been or are currently in the dating phrase, I’m positive that at least one of the truths stated above has been true for you or someone you know. 

Most individuals don't commit because we refuse to settle and we are unsatisfied because nobody fits the image we have in our mind of what our perfect partner is supposed to look like. We’re attached to technology. Restaurants and social events no longer need mood lighting because they are lit up by people staring into their cell phones trying to find the next date because dating is no longer something fun and romantic. Today’s dating has become full of missed connections, mixed signals, broken hearts and broken plans, unrequited love and a full-blown addiction for some people.

If we do commit, we know that our buffet tray of options is still there, still just one simple step to the right away. Shouldn't texts or phone calls shouldn't go purposefully ignored as a way to seem "cool" or above it all" to our potential partners? No, instead we are so numb to emotions and sentimentality that we still sit around an "appropriate amount of time" before responding so they will "miss" us and "want" us more. We want to be missed and we want to be wanted, but we don't want to miss someone and we don't want to want someone because then we will feel exposed, raw and real. We become concern with who knows that we're together and posting couple photos. If you truly like or love the person, it should not matter if anyone knows. Truthfully, you'll show off the person you want to be with to the world cause he/she should represent you

Maybe we'll eventually realize how love, romance, and intimacy are evolving into something almost unrecognizable to older generations because of our behavior and our relationship to technology. Let’s be honest with ourselves here.

When is the last time you actually went to up to your date’s door to announce your arrival rather than send a text saying "Here," to them? When is the last time you didn't look at your phone once during a date? When is the last time you held sustained eye contact during dinner without flinching and didn't try to appear indifferent and cold? What happened to manners, politeness, and kindness for the sake of themselves? What happened to telling stupid and potentially embarrassing jokes and stories? What happened to sappiness?

wedding

I'm no expert on relationships or love, having only ever had one partner in my life so far, but I do know that love, relationships, courtship, and dating should not be about mind games or jealousy. If Marriage isn't the goal, why are you in a relationship? We’re stuck in showing off naked bodies with naked ring fingers. I hope that people from this generation still look forward to their futures to marry their potential soul mate. Love shouldn’t be painful nor scary. Love should be a celebration of two people’s lives intertwining into something inexplicably magical. Everybody deserves to be with someone who will melt when they see you and get butterflies when they think of you. I look forward to attending more weddings of people from this generation in the future. 

This concludes the talk on Dating in 2015 & Ugly Truths of Dating. There is still time to change your future before you end up dealing with something you truly do not want. Be the change in the world you want to see! The truth has been told :)

Don't be afraid to comment below what you thought about the two posts!

Thank you for your time,

Truth By Bella (Isabella B.)